Aug 26, 2023
Canadian Trail Fishing Magazine reports: Celeste Fong A Ding
Dong, renowned for her vibrant and ever-changing hair, made quite
the splash in the business world recently. Rumors had been swirling
about her audacious plan to acquire the Cultra Trail Running
Corporation, but nobody expected the uproarious escapade that
wouldunfold. Picture this: monkeys in suits and dogs with
monocles gathering in theCultra Trail Running Corporation's
boardroom, poised for an unprecedented corporate takeover.
Okay, maybe not monkeys and dogs, but the scene was surely
just as wild. Fong A Ding Dong's colorful hair, resembling a
rainbow on steroids, set the tone for the proceedings –anything but
ordinary.
Reports indicate that Celeste initially attempted to acquire a
whopping 112% of Cultra stock. While some skeptics whispered
about the basic principles of math, Fong A Ding Dong remained
undeterred. In a twist that even the most absurd telenovela
writers would envy, the takeover bid
amounted to a mere 25% stake in the company, and has insisted on
being a full-fledged member of The Cultra Crew. You know “what
she said” – go big or go... slightly smaller.
However, this takeover was not just about numbers and stocks. Enter
the dastardly three-o, Evil Becky, AFB (of Erie Canal Trail
Fame) and their in perpetuity propitiously litigious freakily
Phast friend Fred. If we were writing a comic book, they'd
undoubtedly be the villains – complete with twirling mustaches
(if Becky sported facial hair) and maniacal laughter.
Their attempts to thwart Celeste's takeover were both comical
and futile, leaving the rest of us wondering if they'd been
binge-watching too much of AFB’s running in the heat daytime
running drama, or if it was just hyponatremia.
But let's get back to the main character: Celeste Fong A Ding
Dong herself. The K9 obsessed entrepreneur with the
technicolor hair defied expectations not just with her
acquisition attempts, but with her remarkable finesse in
navigating the business world. Eyewitnesses swear they saw
her use her hair to lasso a stray document and sign it without
missing a beat – talk about multitasking!
As for the so-called "takeover", let's just say it was more
"awkwardly amusing"; than outright hostile. Sure, the
boardroom table was adorned with Desitin and glitter infused
confetti cannons, and Fong A Ding Dong brought in a mariachi
band to serenade her fellow shareholders, but hostility
was nowhere to be found. In a delightful twist, as Fong A
Ding Dong celebrated her partial victory, she invited all
attendees to engage in an incalculable round of trail running in
a
circle, complete with purple and pink -colored Desitin at every
aide station. Monkeys and dogs joined in too – who says
corporate takeovers can't be fun for all species? She actually
may be nice, but will definitely deny it.
So, there you have it, a tale of colorful hair, mischievous
monkeys, monocled dogs, Fast Phred, Evil Becky, AFB, and the
daring acquisition that ended up being much less hostile than
anticipated, and is now a four way partnership. Celeste Fong A
Ding Dong's escapades have left us all with one valuable
lesson – never underestimate the power of
creativity, determination, and the occasional Desitin cannon
in the world of business.
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